Low Point Again in My Journey

Dear God,

If only I could angry with U

If only I could blame U with all happened in my life just now

If only my protest sentences change my world as good as I wanted as far as I know

Dear God,

If only not Ur will but mine be done

If only I take control

If only I could get what I really want

But I know very well, It won’t be happen! D*MN IT WON’T BE HAPPEN!

coz I know YOU ARE GOD and I AM NOT

and of course U know better than me

U r the one who created me. What was I thinking of? Want to be higher than my creator???

Must be kidding

If only I don’t have God

If only I run my own life

I only I can change my self

Than maybe I am WORSE than what I am today

Dear God,

Sorry I am so dissapointed with this world

I am so dissapointed with my condition

I am so frustating with my life, my journey, my ALONE journey

Than I don’t know how to do it anymore

God, I want to stop everything, or else I need to jump to another step

Which is “happiness” is what I feel

Not the fake happiness

Not the fake friend

Not the fake lover

NOT THE FAKE ME!

Dear God,

I must be Your worst son

I am not even Ur daughter

The one who U’ve given the best but give nothing back

The one who never listen to Ur guide

And U will say also..

Dear Child,

If only I’ve never created you

If only you listen to me once

If only you know my master plan

If only you believe and let me do this job

If only you walk in the path that I show

If only you know that I cry when you cry

If only you never give up

If only you love me with all your heart more than anything

Dear God,

If only you are here to save me

If only you are here to get me up bcoz I’m so down

If only you make my heart and fix it so it won’t be hurt anymore

If only I have ability to do want you want

If only i have ability to understand you more

If only I have ability to be wise and have your brain to think

If only You erase my bad memories of my past

If only You delete that moment from my head and my heart

If only You give me another chance..

If only You hear my heart now

If only You know my heart is crying so bad now

If only You know how I give up this point

If only You know that I don’t know how to go

If only You know that I’m scare

If only You know that I feel alone

If only You know that I want to serve You but there’s something that make me can’t

IF only there’s no sin in this world

If only You give me the way

Dear God,

Please don’t ever tired to be my God

I have nothing unless You

Please teach me

Teach me softly

Coz I am very weak

Thanks,

Your Son

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